I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Pants are for mortals
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
