It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
