It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
