I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize