My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
