My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
