there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
