Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
