You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I lost the right to judge tonight
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
