VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
