where am i from again
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
