Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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