I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
