im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
