Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That accounts for only three of the penises
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize