I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
