32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
