I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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