it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
