and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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