So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
