she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize