What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
