HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
