we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
