Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
