The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm passing your future prison.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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