There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Randomize
