Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
