Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
