You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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