didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
