I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize