how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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