It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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