Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
