im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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