How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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