cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize