Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
