Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
