I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
