I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize