I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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