you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
