it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
