Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
