i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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