I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
