Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
