I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
