just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
