I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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