What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
someone owes me an orgasm
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
