They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
