I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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