Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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