Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
