Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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