they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize