oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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