when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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