Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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